Maroon & Orange

I still get excited when I see "the tower" as I drive through or past Austin, Texas. My ears still perk up when I hear the words "Mack Brown" "Major Applewhite" or "Texas Fight." It was instilled in me, handed down to me, expected of me - love and devotion for all things at the University of Texas at Austin.

But, I'm an Aggie now. A proud one. The maroon sheep of the family. Sure, I don't wear an Aggie ring and it's still hard for me to put on maroon, but, I'm no 2%. I stood in line for football- and basketball!- tickets for hours. I was involved with five student organizations on a regular basis, and I graduated from the original college - College Of Agriculture. I learned the history and the traditions. (Three out-of-state friends this past weekend were convinced I was a tour guide as a student. Example: off the top of my head I can tell you that in 1907, five freshman were told to lead yells on the field during halftime and entertain the student body while they were dressed in janitor uniforms that were found in a closet of the stadium. Did you know how the yell leaders began? Or that revielle was a mutt that a member of the corps adopted after hitting her with his car one foggy night?)

Bottomline, Texas has a lot of great universities. TCU, UofH, Southwestern...I guess you could add a few others to the list. But the two largest and oldest have ties that date back more than 117 years, that connect almost every family and literally every town that dots a map of our great state. Yet somehow, we're letting money, and pride, and a few "good old boy" athletic directors change all of that. Both sides are in the wrong, and both sides think they're right.

I won't ramble about the negative stuff of which I haven't paid close attention. But, I will leave you with a great article my burnt-orange bleeding father sent me, and 2 minute clip of the band in 1999 - after 12 aggies died at the bonfire collapse. It tells everything you need to know about this college rivalry and why it's more than just a game. Article is here, video is here.

thank you

On Sept. 27, sitting in a beautiful public park in Salt Lake City, I wrote this as I waited for my former roommate and wonderful friend Katherine to finish her rounds as a bonafide doctor at a clinic down the street.

The grass on which I'm sitting has recently been cut, but is still thick enough that if I spread my fingers and push down, I lose sight of my fingernails. Don't you just love lush grass like that? I do, and in this time of extreme drought in Texas, I love it now more than ever.

There's giant trees spread out around me, but I can still see mountains to my left and a lake in front of me. People ride their bikes on the path behind me, ducks quack loudly from the water. The sky is a vibrant blue and wind rustles my hair against my neck every few moments.

In a word, this moment is beautiful. And yet, with all my being, I know the one who created this beauty values people above it. And I know that I should follow suit.

Just as the mighty one created beauty to show love in nature, he created us to love each other well. "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the works of his hands." Psalm 19:1 How comforting to know that I - and you - are more precious and valuable than these mountains, this clear day?

It makes me want to squish my funny-looking toes in the grass, raise my hands to the Heavens, twirl around and whisper "thank you."

Thank you, thank you.

"a love story with a twist of autism"

Autism.

It's funny that there is no cure, not even an exact definition. It's what the experts call a "spectrum" disease - meaning you can have it to varying degrees and extremes.

I never dreamt of being a "special ed" teacher, never personally knew someone with autism, did not request these two students. But I learned after ten months of teaching them, what "disabilities" really are: gifts. True, they are burdens, too - that is certain. It's a burden to the child, the family, their friends, their teachers, strangers they encounter.

But there is also a magical quality to working with these kids, and a reward different from teaching and loving the "mainstream" kids. Numerous days I was defeated, at school nearly eleven hours, heading home to return calls to their parents or email notes of the day's events and figure out how to be ready to do it all again the next day, and do it better.

Four months later I wake at night dreaming of my kiddos - sometimes its a vivid nightmare that leaves my face flushed and my stomach in knots. Other times waking with a smile on my face and sweet memories of meaningful moments.

I cannot let them go, and yet in so many ways, I already have.

I read this book this summer, and I don't even have the right words to describe how it made me feel proud of the work I did last year, the relationships I developed, the progress we made as a team. It also made me feel like I did not do enough, I did not appreciate them enough.

If you work with kids, or you look reading about family dynamics, or autism, I recommend it. And actually, I found it at Target on the bestseller shelf. So it's been a hit before I recommended it ot you.

oh world of wonders

"oh world of ... wonders.

i dip my feet, i twirl my dress,

i stand on my head, i put my feet in the grass.

because i can."

it's funny, the moments in which i've felt most alive, have caught me off guard sometimes. when do you, dear reader, feel most alive? most fired up to be on this planet and thankful for the next breath you're about to take, the breath that will continue your heart pumping and your feet dancing as the earth spins slowly around a giant ball of gas?

sometimes, cheesy at it may sound, i feel it - that spark of life, that energy that comes from the thrill of enjoying the moment - while reading a really good book, words that jump from a page, grab you by the heart, and cause to think about your own world or just appreach a fictional one.

sometimes, silly as it may seem, i feel it in moments like this: my feet dangle off a sidewalk made of stones, suspended above a green river in the texas hill country. i sit next to someone i'd never imagine i would so much enjoy spending so much time with -and certainly would i never dare imagine they'd feel the same when spending time with me. it is a simple moment, full of sunshine and laughter and german beer, but it is a glorious moment nonetheless.

sometimes, surprising as it may seem, i feel the thrill of life at an elementary school. yes, the one where i used to work and so often prayed for strength to make it through the ten hour school day, yes, that one. at lunch last week, a former student of mine came up from behind me, wrapped her arms around my waist, and peeked up at my face under my arm. she had tears in her eyes as she told me how much she had missed at me and how glad she was to 'finally see you again for once in my life!' there is nothing like the joy of children to recharge your heart to beat.

i know my life is simple, i work in a cubicle! but it's also grand, full of great friends and wonderful blessings. i'm healthy and happy and could not ask for more. after walking a road rather lonely at times, and watching good friends struggle with things like diabetes and cancer, i know friends and health are things for which to alwaysbe grateful. i know that this life, and a "world of wonders" is something to cherish.

i hope you know what makes you feel most alive, and i hope you run after it. lots of love, crob

quotes

my blogging juices havent been flowing as much lately, but here's some stolen inspiration. (i borrowed these from pinterest. i literally limit my time to ten minutes whenever i log in, which at this point has been less than once a week. yikes.)

i'd like to frame all of these and put them somewhere in my house. in the meantime, i'll just put them on the internet for others to enjoy, too.

need to breathe - turn up the volume

Needtobreathe is one of my favorite bands of all time, and I'm not exaggerating. I've known them for only a few months, thanks to Katherine McClellan blaring them as we drove through the mountains of Utah. You should meet them, too.

Listen to their stuff. Tell me it doesn't get stuck in your head.

Click below, turn up the volume, dance around. I've included some pretty awesome lyrics from "slumber."

Slumber
Something Beautiful
Drive All Night

Tongues are violent, personal and focused
Tough to beat with your steady mind
But hearts are stronger after brokenS
o wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
All these victims stand in line for
The crumbs that fall from the table
Just enough to get by
All the while your invitation
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby open up your eyes
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby open up your eyes
Take from vandals all you want now
Please don't trade it in for life
Replace your feeble with the fable

C'mon sing like we used to
And dance like you want to
C'mon darlin' open your eyes
C'mon sing like we used to
C'mon dance like we want to
C'mon darlin' open up your eyes.