a letter to my nephew {happy birthday, hunter carrigan robinson!}

My Dear Hunt, 

Hunter Carrigan Robinson, happy birthday! 

I will forever remember the day you were born; I will always remember the butterflies I had in my stomach as I hauled it up to the hospital to be there for your delivery. Your mom was in labor all day, and I had to stay home with Thomas and Harris, so I checked my phone for texts constantly and talked to your dad a few times for updates. Then, after I got Drew settled with our boys, I practically peeled out of our driveway. It was around 9 pm, and I was SO EXCITED that Amy and Gentry's SON was about to be here! 

Ben Rector blared through my speakers as I pulled out of our neighborhood. I was so pumped to finally be en route to the hospital. (Who is Ben Rector, you ask!?! You look him up right this second, young man! Incredible musician.) 

I stopped at a gas station to grab your daddy some sugar free Red Bull, because he and your mommy went to the hospital SO EARLY when her water broke. Normally I would object to him drinking that nastiness, but I knew he was tired and I knew I should be nice. (Listen to Lovie, she's a wise lady. She tells me to be nice a lot.) 

I know you will hear countless stories of your grandfather, but in case you haven't heard yet, the man could almost exist on a diet of sugar and soda alone. He loved a wide variety of crummy candy, but banana laffy taffy was one of his favorites. (Personally, I say yuck, but he ate it all. A refined palate he had not.) Also, he loved icees. He would drive out of his way if he knew a particular gas station had a good slurpee machine. So the night of your birth, after I grabbed the red bull and a few snacks to share with CC, Gunner, and Lovie, who had been at the hospital for hours, I thought, I'm getting an ICEE. Hadn't had one in forever. And when I saw the machine, and noticed the banana laffy taffy flavor option, I think I laughed out loud. I know I smiled for all to see. Some people call them "God nods" and some call them "God winks." Some might call it a coincidence. But in this city of 4 million people, never once at any of the hundreds of random gas stations that I've been in, has anyone had a banana laffy taffy ICEE machine. Coincidence?  No. Strange way to feel that Pops was watching over us? Sure. But they say the Lord works in mysterious ways, and Hunt, in that moment I was reminded that Pops is never far away, that his spirit lives on in many ways, and I felt comforted that even if you mom needed a c-section, we were okay. I know, I got all that from banana laffy taffy? Life is weird. 

I hopped back on the freeway and hurried up to the hospital. I was there when Clare was born, and I could not miss this!!! Wild horses and millions of dollars could not keep me away. And that will be true whenever you need me, sweet Hunt. Call, text, tweet - whatever technology we'll have. (Don't tell anyone this, but your father and I were born before the internet was invented. I KNOW. It's like we're from covered wagon days! Get this: our car didn't have a TV in it. How did we ever drive to Colorado without a TV?! It was a crazy time.) 

You don't know it right now my love, but you have one of the greatest teams on Earth. The people who are pulling for you, rooting for you, loving on you - you are a lucky little man. Your blessings are abundant, my love! Remember that when the days seem long and life seems rough.  

In addition to loving laffy taffy and pretty much any candy, your grandfather was a dreamer, a goal-setter, a man with an "agenda", as he liked to say. He was purposeful and purpose-driven. Work hard, play harder. He found adventure at every corner. He made driving to school fun. He made road trips unforgettable. We'll have so much time to talk about him, Hunt, but I want you to know: your grandfather lives on all around you, most specifically in your daddy. You are a LUCKY, LUCKY guy to have your daddy. I have learned that great dads, the legendary ones, are not something every child is given. I hope you are always cognizant (look that up too, it's good for you) of the wonderful people that God has given you to call family - and our friends who are like family, too. Not everyone gets a CC and Gunner in this life, bud. I hope you don't take them for granted one single day. 

I'll tell you something else, Hunter Carrigan Robinson. You were named after an amazing man. Actually, amazing men: Hunter Smith, Steve Carrigan, and Robinson you carry from your great-grandfather, Tom Robinson, Sr, who passed it to TWR Junior, who passed it to your Daddy, Thomas Gentry. 

It is an honor to say that I knew Hunter Smith. Hunter's favorite verse, I'm told, was Micah 6:8. I pray that verse becomes a banner over your life as well. You are but a week old as I write this, but I pray you find comfort and wisdom in the scriptures. And actually, Hunt, I  pray that for myself too - I could always use more time in the word and presence of the Lord. 

Life is hard to explain, my love. There will be big hurts and huge laughs and lots of in betweens. As you learn these things yourself, know that you have so many people to count on, to talk to, to ask questions. Your grandfather and Lovie were great at never making me feel silly for asking any question - big or small. You will learn more about Hunter as you grow up, too. May we always be telling stories of him and talking about him. 

One of my personal favorite stories of Hunter was when we all traveled to Colorado for your mommy and daddy's wedding! (What a love story! What a weekend! Some other time I will tell you about how I stole a vacuum and a snow shovel from the hotel basement and helped myself to their breaker box to shut off the power in Lovies room.)  

Back to the Hunter story... we were at this hotel called The Broadmoor, which has an incredible pool. It has a slide for kids, likely designed for ages 6-12. Well, Hunter decided that age is just a number and that the slide would be fun. So as his friends watched, he hooped and hollered, and at age 27 went down the slide with gusto! Hunter found fun and adventure wherever he went, a lot like Pops. He brought giant smiles to people's faces and made them laugh until their face hurt. I hope you are like Hunter in many ways, HCR. For one, I hope you always know that age is just a number and life is worth living with abandon. I hope you are also like Hunter in that you make sure the people around you always feel valued. I pray in your first year, and in all the years to come, you will feel so loved and filled with gratitude for all that you've been given. 

I made it to the hospital just in time for your mom to be taken to the OR for a c-section. She was fine, and you were fine, you just were determined not to come out on your own. So doctors decided, after hours of labor, that your mommy needed a c-section. Your daddy was a bit anxious (it appeared.) Worried for his wife, anxious for you to be here! CC took me back to talk to your mom. She was every bit herself - courageous, peaceful, kind, patient, faithful, steady. You are being raised by an incredible woman, Hunter Carrigan, and a fantastic father. Now that I'm a parent too, I realize it is hard to express to your children just how much you care for them, how much you truly love them. 

When I wrote your sister a letter when she was born, I told her this: 

It is a crazy, mad, messy, beautiful world that you were just born into. Your parents have known great joy, amazing love, and tremendous loss. You will likely know all these things too, at different times of your life. And I pray you'll also know incredible hope - the kind of hope that comes from new life, from beginnings, from joining families together. I pray you continue to know the incredible hope you’ve brought to all of us. 

We are all so thankful for you, sweet boy, and oh so smitten with your 8 lb 12 oz self! 

All my love, 

Lolly