be nice to the new girl

be nice to the new girl. 

I have a friend, who I have known since I was 12, and I am pretty sure in middle school, her mom reminded her, "be nice to the new girl." the new girl was me. 

When my family moved during middle school, I knew only one girl at my new school: Kate Doherty at Spring Branch Middle. I was excited to move but very nervous, too. My mom tried to ease the "new girl" factor by helping me meet some other girls before school started, so that I didn't simply follow Kate around every moment. (I was shy back then. and nerdy.. shy, super into books, and all about theater arts. Really great combination for winning tons of new friends.)

Anyways, I met this girl who was way taller than me and way cooler who lived right down the street. Our moms introduced us a few days before school, and then thankfully she was in my homeroom class, my social studies class, and rode my bus everyday. Between her and Kate, I could pretty much get through the day feeling like I knew someone everywhere I went. 

The girl who was so nice to me in 7th grade, ended up being my roommate post-college for two years. After I moved back from DC, I was waiting for Teach For America to start and living with my parents and traveling alot. I had been wondering who I'd get an apartment with. and then I didn't have to wonder, because she asked me if I'd want to be roomies. Me? Live with the tall, cool, blonde girl? Yes. Where do I sign? (Another friend from spring branch days joined us and the three of us had quite the time in the Heights for two years.)

Be thankful for the girls who are nice to you in middle school. She might introduce you to other cool girls and drive you to lacrosse practice and even - true story - threaten to beat up a boy on the bus who keeps making fun of you, loudly, for all to hear. (For the record, he never bothered me again. not once.Tall, cool blonde girl has my back, so don't mess with me.)

Your middle school friend might text you on the regular after something terrible happens to make sure you're okay. She might tell you, over a year after your dad's plane accident, that her dad keeps the memorial service program out in his closet. She might make sure you know that others find your husband sweet, and wonderful, which every girl wants to hear. (Especially if said husband made said friend cry during high school because he was very jealous that his best friend was dating said girl and not hanging out with said husband anymore. But that's a story for another day.Go Mustangs.)

Sixth grade was really, really hard for me. I'm sure many people can say that, too, and there are so many worse things to grow through than going to a cliquey school, but.. at the time, it was a big time struggle. I felt like an outsider almost everyday, all day. I vividly remember boys during gym class calling me pig nose, and my art teacher tried to give me a D for the year. A D. In sixth grade art. Because my pottery kept crumbling. I mean, really...

I don't remember that much of middle school now, and that makes me feel oooooold. I remember being painfully shy, and my mom coaching me to work through that. I remember adoring my theater arts teacher, Mrs. Schock, I remember hoping that I would eventually marry Graham Robinson because he was VERY cute AND I could keep my last name, I remember my dad sending me to school with a knife and an apple in my brown lunch bag and being terrified that Mr. Biggs was going to catch me with a knife and I'd be sent to juvie and never heard from again. I  remember realizing I would not be a pediatrician after all because science was not my cup of tea, I remember loving student council (white house internship, here i come!!!) I remember getting in trouble for talking too much in German class... and I remember Kelsey. It meant the WORLD to me that she was willing to say hi when we passed in the hallways and walked with me to homeroom those first few terrifying days of being the new girl. Even if we were not still close friends as we are today, her kindness would not have been forgotten.

I am sure I will tell my possibly nerdy, shy children during their middle school years to be nice to the new kids, and I will tell them stories of the cool, blonde girl, and how she taught me that small acts of kindness really do make a huge impact on the lives of those around you. 

I can't wait to celebrate YOU all weekend, bride-to-be Kelsey! 

PS - Kelsey's kindness continued as twenty-something roommates - the first time I got ring worm as a teacher (there was more than one time, yes) she shared her prescription ring worm cream with me from when she'd had it in the previous school year. If that's not true friendship, I'm not sure what is!