She was not a replacement for Wesley, not for one second, but she was instantly a bundle of joy and life and vivaciousness, breathing fresh life into a family still stinging from untimely death.
I was eight the year she came into this world, and I had been holding my breath for a girl the entire nine months she grew in my aunt's stomach. With one brother and three smelly boy cousins, I was desperate for a girl.
And there she was, a bundle of pink. Her parents were so good to my brother and me, allowing us to hold her from the get-go, when a sane parent would have probably feared we'd drop the baby.
We don't see each other often enough, but this girl, this cousin, has been the closest thing to a sister I've ever had. I remember her first haircut, putting her down for naps as a toddler, playing pirate ships with her in the bathtub at our grandparents house. She is seventeen, and lovely, and grown up too fast, and stubborn as all get out.
I caught a glimpse of the pride my grandfather has always had for all of us while I was watching her cheer this year. Our grandfather and grandmother have been at numerous events and watched our lives with complete devotion, never wasting a second to say how proud they are and impressed with us and all the things wonderful grandparents say. But I've always doubted a bit, thought they were crazy, over the top.
Watching Abbey at her pep rally this summer (while I was unemployed and had time to do such things) my face hurt from smiling. That was my cousin! She was once a toddler embarrassed and hiding back stage at dance recitals, now seventeen with tan long legs, glamorous eyelashes, and a bubbly smile. That was my cousin, with the high kicks and the crazy jumping skills.
It's funny, as a little girl loving my little girl cousin, I never thought about what it'd be like for us to be adults, and friends. But this summer, sitting at the movies, I realized that's what we were. As I tried on a dress at Urban Outfitters and asked her opinion, I realized how old she is - and how old I am. 25? 17? When did this happen?
I can't wait to see what holds for either of us in the next seventeen years. I pray for this sweet only-girl cousin of mine, to be blessed, full of joy and adventure and love and grace and challenges and ... to have LIFE, for the next seventeen years and beyond.
