This note from Stuart Ford was a reminder that immediately, upon hearing about my dad's accident, people came running. On the night that Dad's plane engine malfunctioned, (Sept. 8, 2012) we were packed in at the Carrigan's house on Pine Grove Circle. People that we called didn't just answer their phones- they hung up and came over to hug us and cry with us and be brokenhearted right along with us. And they kept coming, all week. I wanted a burnt orange dress to wear to the service, and I had quite the shopping posse with me that Wednesday, as most of my close friends in Houston wanted to help in any way that they could, or just be near me as I did trivial things like shop for a dress.
Stuart Ford and his wife Pat are friends of my parents: their son is my age and their daughter, Kelly, is Gentry's age and they were cheerleaders together at Memorial. (Being a dude cheerleader at MHS is cool.) The Fords are good friends, but they would by no means call my parents best friends. Stuart's kind words show how thoughtful he was to take the time to comfort us by writing down his thoughts and sharing them.
He is a great example that you don't have to be "super close" to someone to comfort them and walk with them in their grief. You don't have to know exactly what to say, or how to say it, but Stuart shows us - just do something. Some people brought us toilet paper. Others brought us multi-vitamins to keep our immune systems up. Some brought sandwiches and drinks. Some said nothing, they were just present. Some said too much, but we knew they meant well.
I've learned to listen to the Holy Spirit (insert eye roll for some, I know, it sounds hokey sometimes) but I've learned to listen to what the Lord is guiding you to do, to be His love in the flesh, when someone you love is hurting.
Death is terrible. But God is bigger than death. He sends people to hug you, love on you, wipe your tears, listen to you rant that this. is. not. fair. God is bigger than our pain.
Cathy,
The first time I ever flew with Tom was one of the most memorable days of my life. I am a plane fanatic and have been from birth. I was the kid in the outfield not picking flowers but watching every plane in the sky. There is still not a plane that flies over my head that I don't watch, try to identify what type of plane that is and wonder where it came from and where it is going. I have many friends with planes and every time they take off, I have an app that informs me of their flight and gives me a map of their progress and tells me when they land.
I have flown in many, many types of private planes, from large jets to single engine planes, but, until I flew with Tom, I realized that I had never experienced what flying truly is.
No doors, no windows, the wind in your face, the spray of the water when we would land on the lake, waving out the window to people I know when we flew over them, having the ability to turn the plane around to look at something we missed...
When I met "The Real McCoy" and Tom at the Lakeway Airpark that morning, he was getting gas at the pump and there was a plane behind him waiting until he finished to get fuel, too. When Tom finished, the other pilot and I offered to help him push the plane away from the gas pump, and that is when Tom said "No problem, I got it" and Tom lifted the tail of his plane and effortlessly pushed it by himself. That is when I snapped this picture. (no e-version of the pic)
Like many who have flown with Tom, Tom had me get in the front seat while he climbed in the back and made me familiar with the flight controls, instruments and gauges of the Real McCoy. After answering several hundred of my questions, Tom said, "Let's Go!" And I said, "I'm ready!"
He then said: Start the plane. Of course I think that since I'm in the front seat there must be some key to turn or button to push and I am rapidly trying everything I can to not look stupid... I then gave up and said "Tom, I can't find the button." And he said: "Stuart, you have to get out and put the prop in your hands and pull down hard" ... and of course I said "Tom, that sounds like a perfect job for you" and he said "I've got to stay in the plane and hold the brakes so that the plane doesn't run over you"... terrific.
It look me literally 15 times to start it because I kept backing away from the prop as I pulled it down... He finally told me that I had to stay very close to the prop in order for the downward motion to be powerful enough to start the engine. Wow. What a lesson!
That first flight with Tom was the wonderful beginning of stregthening a terrific relationship that began years ago as members of "DOX - Dad's of Cheerleaders" a secretive fraternal organization designed to keep our children safe and alive during their tenure as Memorial High School cheerleaders!
Tom and I shared the love of airplanes and he was so very kind and patient to take me and my family on more flights than I can count. All of us loved waving towels at him off of the back porch of our lake house when he flew over and we went crazy when we knew that he saw us when he waved his wings!
When he would fly over our part of the lake, especially in the sea plane, and was unable to pick me up, I would watch him until he disappeared from view, wondering what it was like to be there with him. I am so proud of Tom. While we shared the passion of flying and the love of airplanes, he did so much more. He took that passion and love and did something about it - instead of just dreaming like me. He trained, he studied, he practiced, he researched, he practiced and he practiced and he became a proficient, safe pilot and he shared the dream with so many young and young at heart. He not only shared the flight but many stories about sleeping in hangers and landing in fields, flying cross-country and meeting wonderful people who helped him along his way. I hope to remember those stories. I believe that I know, with all the confidence that I have, where Tom is right now. He is sharing the wonders of flight with others right now! And I will fly with him again.
-Stuart
