love is a battlefield

there's an 80s song that's been in some more recent movies that goes like this:
"We are young! heartache to heartache we stand...
Love is a battlefield!"

It's a silly song, but it does make me want to put on some blue eyeshadow and rock out whenever i hear it. And its chorus has been reverberating through my mind the past few weeks.

They ask you on the first day of summer teach for america training to write down on an index card the answer to this question: "In one word, why are you here? Why did you join Teach for America?" My answer?

Love.

They ask you, on the first day of summer TFA training: "In one word, what do you have to give? What will get you through the challenges of teach for america?" My answer?

Love.

Any reservations I've had about teaching three year olds, I've known one thing: any three year old, especially in the socio-economic situation that almost every student at KIPP faces, needs a lot of love. And I have a lot of love to give for those sweet kiddos. Their smiles, the things they say, their view of the world around them... you can't help but love them. I find myself thinking about them as I fall asleep at night. I think about them on my drive home. I think about them and love on them a lot...But that love is not always easy.

A child peed me on the second day of school. I have armored myself with gloves and clorox countless times to clean up pee on the floor of the bathroom, scrub our carpet where someone squatted to "go". I completely lost my voice ten days ago - literally opened my mouth and nothing came out. It sounded like cats were dying in there. And it still comes and goes. I have to explain myself on the phone to people - "sorry, no, this really is courtney, not a man..."

I have ringworm. RINGWORM! Itchy red patch on my arm that itches likes the dickens and is just, well, disgusting. I have been kicked in the shins, scratched, pushed, and two ochildren who tend to be on the angry side have even gone so far as to spit in my face. Intentionally, you ask? Yes.

I knew it was going to be a difficult year. No one said teaching was easy. But all of this at the one-month mark? Really? I had no idea.

If they say that good teaching is simply loving on children...well, this love is a battlefield.