missing montana

i've only thought about montana a handful of times since I've left there. Didn't take much time to reflect on the adventure, the beauty, the gloriousness of it all... but I found these notes in a bag, scratched out on a scrap of paper, and I realized... the solitude of that week, the beauty that surrounded me, the vast amounts of free time staring me in the face, waiting to be filled... you might say that in big sky country, there was a marvelous light.

I’m kind of obsessed with the Missoula way of life, and you should be too. The mentality that work is merely a way to pay the bills, and life is for play, adventure, happiness, well…that is just something that has fallen by the wayside in massive cities like Houston. I will admit, these people have dreadful winters, days when the sun has set by 3 pm and weeks that pass without visible sunshine. So, they pack a year’s worth of living into the glorious three months of summer here…A typical summer day finds a thermometer resting to around 50 degrees in the early morning and late night hours, the sun rising before 6 am and setting long after 9:30 p.m. Last night, around 11:15 p.m., I stood on my porch and could see stars above. Yet off in the distance, towards the west, the sky was still light blue in lingering twilight. Midnight rolled around before complete darkness fell on the valley. I stand in this valley alone, my family far away, but the promise of home and familiar friends a mere week away. And yet, I stand here not alone at all - not even just for the spirit faith promises us, but for all the memories and the people packed into my heart, my memory, my very being. I know - have witnessed - that life does not last forever. Jay Chenoweth, Wesley Gentry, Wesley Bright... I know that life is only guaranteed for now.

And I can't keep the smile from my face, knowing that my life, my right now - though not perfect, not without pain, is full of joy and blessings and love and peace and music and laughter. My life, all our lives, are completely worth living - with gusto at that! I'm glad to have made this roadtrip and spend this week here if only to reconnect to that thought... as the moon hung in the sky last night, a vibrant, deep blue like I'd never seen the sky, I knew... this is really an ordinary moment, just me, on the porch of a rented small cabin, staring at the stars. But our lives are thousands of ordinary moments, and that makes for one extraordinary journey. I'm selfishly glad that my journey isn't over yet.