happy new year! {reflections on 2013, part one}

2013 was a loooooong year. A wonderful year! A year of grieving, a year of celebrating, a roller coaster of emotions. The Houston marathon was this weekend and I mentioned to Drew – remember last year when it was really cold and rainy and I stayed in bed but you went out to watch your friend? 

He responded: “Wow, was that really only last year? Feels like so much longer.”

Drew and I got married on December 31, 2012, so 2013 started off new and fresh immediatly. It was a year full of firsts, full of learning about marriage, full of pinching myself that he had actually said “I do.” 

Every year brings learning- about the world, about yourself, about life. I’ve written a few year-end wrap ups before, but I can easily say 2013 brought the most joys, most pain, and most learning I’ve ever experienced in a 365 day window. So I’ll share a few lessons if you’re interested. If you’re not, I’d certainly understand. J

 1) You. Cannot. Control. Death. 

Not yours, not loved ones, not your parents, nor can you control anything about death. But what you can control is what you do with the time you’re given to live.

I have much better days when I focus on what I can do with my life and days on earth than when I dwell on how my dad’s accident could have been prevented, or question why it happened at all. My maternal grandfather and great-grandfather both died in 2013, and I’m still adjusting to the reality that they’re not here anymore. But we had them both longer than we “should” have, and for their memories I am forever grateful. 

2) Vacations are grrrrrrrreat. Time away from the hurried pace of daily life is marvelous. Getting to go on a honeymoon with Drew was incredible. It was great to start married life with a reminder that alone time is good, a break from daily routine is good, and traveling is important to both of us. And also, room service may be one of the greatest inventions ever. Blueberry pancakes? Yes, please! Smores in the hot tub? Don't mind if I do! 

3) We are not leaving this earth with anything.

We got robbed in June, and a lot of sentimental stuff was lost, permanently. It could have been worse and homeowners insurance covered a lot, but. I lost jewelry that was passed down, as well as my Dad’s iPad, and all the photos on our laptops and cameras – honeymoon pictures, rehearsal dinner pictures, pictures from Gentry & Amy’s wedding weekend, the list goes on. But when I calmed down and really thought about it, all that mattered was that we were safe. All that was missing were things that will eventually fade away anyway. It was a good lesson to attempt to stop storing up treasures here. Because it’s true, that old saying – you can’t take it with ya when ya go. Putting too much value in any object, even the sentimental ones that remind us of others, is not good. Being robbed will teach you very quickly that less is more.

4) Darkness is all around us.

I know that sounds negative at first glance, but I think acknowledging this darkness gives us more ammo to fight it. Manipulative, petty people. Oh they just seem to come out of the woodwork sometimes, don’t they!? Liars, thieves, selfish, bitter, scum sucking people. But you can either let them consume you and take over your happiness, or you can realize that’s satan trying to get in the way of you living. I would hate to sound like Joel Osteen here, but…satan is trying to keep us from living the life we’re meant to be lived. I learned that in 2013. I also saw a quote that came from Harry Potter actually, that says “Happiness can be found, even in the darkness of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” And not just Harry Potter thinks this, but the Bible too: “In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5-6

5) Jesus is the light of the world.

Cliché, I know, but if you read point #4 you need to know point #5. This world is maddening, has plenty of evil and darkness, but it also has, light. Kindness. Goodness. Gentleness. Joy. Faith. Abundant grace.

I will never, ever forget the light that poured from the children at the Tree of Life, a community of homes full of Zambian orphans in Africa. Children who had been rescued from the streets, and brought to live in homes, with a house mother, and a toilet, and comfy bed, and brothers or sisters, and food, and school. Most of them never had any of those things before: a bed, regular food, school, running water, love. And all of them still had little compared to us in America – can you imagine growing up with three siblings all living in your room? Gosh we’d complain to our friends! Can you imagine having just enough clothes to take up one drawer and one quarter of a closet? Gosh we’d think we were poor! But these children, you can see it in their eyes and feel it in their hugs, and hear it in their voices when they sing praises to God – they are filled with light. I will never forget their eyes.

I wrote down five more major lessons of 2013 – six actually, but I feel as though I’m rambling now as I type from my pages. So for now, that’s all. 5 things to think about heading into to 2014.

I wonder how God will use the next year to teach us, to love on us, to make us better stewards of his grace. I wonder what doors will close and what windows will open.  I don’t know much, but I know that God will always be there and will always be good.