"You Aint Never Had a Friend Like Me"

I haven't seen the movie Aladdin in at least a decade. It was one of my dads favorites-  he was a big Robin Williams fan, and when the movie came out, he quoted it regularly and sang the songs for years after. 

 

I've been waking up missing my dad these last few days, more than usual. Call it hormones, or timing, or just random, I'm not sure why. But it makes sense that this morning around 6 am, without having heard the song or thought of the movie in forever, I woke up singing the Genie's song "you ain't never had a friend like me." I honestly thought it was from the jungle book at first, and googled to find more of the words than that one line so I could maybe get it out of my head.

When Aladdin turned up in my search request, I instantly thought, OH! Of course! 

Maybe I was dreaming of my dad singing it, or saying some of the famous lines "you wake me up, you rub my lamp, you're getting your three wishes, so SIT DOWN." 

 

For whatever reason, that song was in my head. And at least the chorus is quite fitting for my brother and me. It's interesting that the words are not "I ain't never had a friend like YOU" but instead, the words are tooting the singer's own horn- you ain't never had a friend like ME ... and the Genie sings about all the wonderful things he can do for his friends.  

 

That's me and Gentry though, playfully cocky and self-assured. Gentry tells people a lot he's the better looking between the two of us; I am quick to point out I'm much older, wiser, and smarter of the two. 

 

As I prepare to become a parent myself here pretty quick, I've realized what a gift my parents gave Gentry and me by encouraging us to play together as toddlers - and from then on. Gentry is truly one of my very best friends. The fact that our offices are right next door to each other has been so fun in the past two years - only one major sibling argument and that was about turning the lights on or off in the kitchen when no one is in the office kitchen. I'm pro saving electricity, but Gentry is  anti-light switch. It's just too much for him to turn on a light more than once a day, but I digress...

 

G is hilarious and smart and very driven, he reminds me just by his actions that I should work out more, get outside more, and make time for being healthy. He reminds me with his sometimes crazy thoughts, about chambray shirts and elk hunting and sugar-free red bull and such, that people with different opinions and interests can actually be quite close. He remembers movie lines and imitates accents like a professional actor - he's very fun to be around! (98% of the time.) His voice is identical to our dads, which is so comforting. And he also reminds me of many of the good qualities of our grandfather, Aubrey, who at times were overshadowed by the grumpy, difficult man I saw a lot. Gentry brings out the best in memories of B. (Mostly. Ain't nobody perfect except Jesus, amiright?)

 
 

 

There are many, many people without whom I would be LOST in this often overwhelming grief thing, after losing my Dad- so many people who push me forward to keep living even though I miss him so much. We all miss the larger-than-life, amazingly fun man that I was privileged to call mine. So many people who point to faith, or offer wise counsel, or relive memories with us. My dads oldest friend, who reminds us to celebrate his birthday, not the anniversary of the plane crash. Most of all, I have sweet Drew to thank for getting me through missing dad, for always understanding, for laughing or crying, for listening, and for somehow, in just one quick year, really grasping what my dad was all about. 

And then there's Gentry, who gets me through the grief without even knowing it probably. For having dad's mannerisms, for making people feel valued the way dad did, for dancing at weddings, for teasing his wife in the same way with the same "I love you like crazy" twinkle in his eye that we saw growing up, for getting feisty over silly things and big things, for having similar hands - Sometimes Gentry is telling a story, and he wears Dad's wedding band and watch, both which mom gave him, and it's like Dad is still here, with his hands waving in the air as he gets to a punch line. 

I like to think I help Gentry too, by reminding him how much he's like dad, for one. G doesn't see it as much as we all do, I'm sure. And just as G is hilarious, I sometimes have jokes. It's true, I sometimes make him laugh! And I give him great advice sometimes, and I'm getting really good at mediating between him and mom. (Grief counseling has benefits that last for years, people. Everyone should do it.) And I am EXCELLENT at reminding Gentry that he married waaaaay out of his league. I leave post its around his office occasionally while he's at meetings, and most of them follow the theme "what's it like to know your wife is hotter than you, AND nicer than you?" 

 

I'm so thankful to have Gentry to go through these awful and happy past two, coming up on three years, since Dad died. And he should be thankful for me.... Basically, we could both wake up singing the chorus to "you ain't never had a friend like me..." And I think Dad would smile about that.

 

here's a link to the full song from Aladdin - and as always, thank you for reading.