February 1, 2017
As we walked out of the hospital doors -well actually, I rolled, pushed in a wheelchair per hospital policy- and stepped into the sunshine and warmth of Houston, I heard a buzzing sound overhead. I looked up to the blue sky and squinted to see what it was... immediately, over the top of the building, a red and white single engine plane came into sight, flying very low directly over us. Seriously? I mean, I cannot make this stuff up.
I almost waved, it seemed so clearly to be my dad. With tears stinging my eyes, I smiled and held Harris in my lap a bit tighter. I see you, I thought. Impeccable timing. The red and white stars on the plane were an unneeded touch from my dad, telling me he's not far away. I see you, I thought.
My mom has told us several times that she heard Jim Jackson once give a sermon on angels. I either wasn't there or can't remember it, but he spoke in his big voice with the southern Georgia drawl, of angels all around us. He's not a hocus-pocus type, so for him to be so confident of angels all around us, well... I'm with him. And I certainly felt their presence on the day our second son, Harris William Prochaska, was born.
Harris did not come calmly or quietly into this world, though I realize emergency C-sections are not uncommon and really not too scary. I absolutely hate that we scared my my mom though, who was not at the hospital yet because she was at our house taking care of big brother Thomas. We called her that morning and told her everything looked great, my doctor had checked me and thought maybe around 2 pm to have family at the hospital. Within an hour we called back to say that we were being hurried to a c-section and could she please come up ASAP.
The short version is this: we went in to be induced at 40 weeks and 1 day, and since Thomas was induced and his delivery totally normal and fine, there was even lower risk of c section for the second time around. I was dilated 3 cm the week before, which I never dilated with Thomas, even when I was 8 days past our due date. My body was progressing and my doctor felt good about inducing after 40 weeks. We arrived just after 7 am, and I remembered the perks of being induced - no crazy drive to the hospital, no excruciating pain wondering if you'll make it in time for meds, no drama- just walked in calmly and got settled in a room.
Our good friend (framily member) Courtney Chenoweth is a labor and delivery nurse at Women's hospital. You might remember that she helped delivered Thomas even though she was not on call - and she hand-selected our nurse, Angela, for the night of Thomas' birth. In 2015, after almost 2 hours of pushing (with the epidural dialed down and then turned to "off" thanks-very-much) I truly felt that Angela was our angel. She's amazing. So kind, so knowledgeable, a calming presence, both cheerful and patient.
Coco is on maternity leave, home with their new baby Evelyn. When Drew realized Courtney wouldn't be able to scrub in for baby #2s birth, his eyes were wide. "What will we do?!?!" He asked me. Um, I love Courtney, but I told him: I'm pretty sure I did a lot of the work last time, and I'll do a lot of the work this time, and hopefully our doctor will be there, and we'll be okay. (He didn't seem convinced.)
I texted my mom, Amy, Courtney, and Mary Chen updates from my last doctor appointment and told them we were scheduled to be induced Monday, January 30. It was not 10 minutes later that Coco texted back a game plan. Okay, if you go into labor this weekend, here's who will be your nurse. And if you're induced Monday, Angela is scrubbing in. "What?!?!" I felt terrible. Angela works nights! I did not want her to have to change her schedule. Courtney texted back: it's done, its on the schedule. I felt very guilty asking Angela to work a day shift - she has 3 kiddos and I'm sure it wasn't easy to change her schedule! And honestly it felt too good to be true, so I just didn't think much of it and didn't get my hopes up.
Monday rolled around and still no baby. We walked down the hospital hall and saw Angela in her bright blue scrubs with a cup of coffee. I couldn't believe it! She gave us both hugs with a huge smile. Angela, I can't really believe you're here!!! I told her. It felt too good to be true, to have the same nurse as last time, someone we knew and trusted. Little did we know how invaluable that would be this time.
Angela is an angel - but she's also a saint. Remember when I said she's patient? I HATE needles. We had a helluva time getting my IV in. I was nauseous, and pale, and felt myself nearly blacking out a few times. Normal nurses I'm sure would roll their eyes and think "you can't get an IV in without nearly passing out, but you're going to push a child out of your body today? Gooood luck." But instead, she shoved a large pamphlet from the hospital into Drew's hand and said "fan her" while she got a cold cloth for my forehead. I felt like such a baby, but man did I feel thankful for Angela, and the day was just getting started.
We texted our moms and friends after Dr. Patni came in and broke my water. She told us, I'm thinking late afternoon. This won't be near as long as Thomas. Got it, I thought, getting excited, thinking I knew exactly how this was going to go. Thirty minutes later, the baby's heartbeat continued to dip low and go high and he was not tolerating my contractions well at all. They watched it closely for a while, and thirty minutes after that, we were headed to the OR for an emergency c-section. Dr. Patni scrubbed out of another surgery (routine) to be there for Harris' delivery. I knew it must be somewhat serious if she was doing that. Tears streamed down my face as Drew held my hand. I took off the oxygen mask they had on me and called my mom as I lay on my side and tried to stay calm. "I don't think I can do this." I said. Again, hate needles. Didn't want to be cut open while awake.
"Of course you can, sweet girl. Your daddy is there! You have angels all around you. Think about how strong you were when your daddy died. If you can be strong through that, you can absolutely do this. Take deep breaths. This is going to be just fine, sweet girl."
Angels all around, seen and unseen, on the phone and in the room.
Soon after we got off the phone, another doctor came and introduced herself.
"Hello, I am Dr. Hutton," she said. "I'm going to assist Dr. Patni with your c-section."
Of course, I thought to myself. I think I smiled through my tears. Dr. Hutton, of course! I have literally never heard of another soul with the last name of Hutton, except for my mom's high school sweetheart, whom she just married in December. With Thomas, we had a doctor named Earl check me while Dr. Patni was home with her boys, who told me I wouldn't need a c-section with Thomas, which was such a relief back then. When I saw his name Earl on his scrubs, I just let the tears fall. Earl was my great-grandfather's name, who gave me away at our wedding when my dad couldn't be there. Of course. Earl and now Dr. Hutton. Through my tears I took it as a sign everything was just fine. Dr Patni leaned over me when she came back to the room. "I know this isn't what we planned, but we do these allll the time." They wheeled me to the OR.
That's pretty much it, I've talked enough already. The actual surgery was incredibly surreal, what with being numb but still able to feel movement. I was most anxious right as they got him out, had started singing "Your love is high, and your love is deep" to myself. Suddenly, Drew told me "it's a boy!" They whisked him off to a corner of the room to check vitals, and next thing I knew I could hear a voice calling for "neo" meaning ICU. We're bagging a baby, I heard some say not so calmly. I tried to stay calm but was beginning to panic.
Why can't I hear him cry??? I asked.
Maybe 20 seconds later, but it felt like eternity, he wailed. A NICU doctor came and introduced herself to Drew, who was sitting on my right side. They called me, but your baby is just fine now, I just wanted to say hello and congratulations. Whew, huge sigh of relief.
Then Drew was able to bring him over to me, and I saw all his dark hair and perfectly round head.
As with Thomas, the first moments in the room with the baby, and the days that followed, I've been filled with immense gratitude - for God's incredible provision and protection, for my strong and patient husband, for our medical team - Dr. Patni and our nurse, for our families, our friends, for this new life, this sweet tiny miracle with 10 fingers and 10 toes.
When Thomas was born, for a while I just could not think of my dad, at least not in those middle of the night feedings or early mornings when I was so tired, too tired to fight the tears, too tired to fight missing him with every ounce of my being. It has been the same with Harris - I just cannot let my mind go there, or it's 100% waterworks.
But I also can't believe that a little red and white plane flew over us the very moment we exited those hospital doors. A small thing, but somehow, through Dads friends and through Mom, I am constantly reminded that though he may be out of sight, he is not forgotten; though he may no longer be on this Earth, he is all around. Harris William, welcome to the world, baby boy! May you know that you are surrounded by angels. May we raise you to be a man just like your daddy and grandfather.
Love, Mom
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