a cluttered chaos

they say that some people are more visual than audio, more logical than whimsical, more literal than imagined... well, i am quite the visual person.

i compare many things to photos, i often expect things - like my bedroom decor, people i meet, and my day to day life, to look like quality photography: something artsy, and charming, warm, full of light, usually packed with color and emotion and boldness.

i realized lately that i want the thoughts of my mind to resemble one of my favorite places: anthropologie. i would love if my thoughts were similar to the storefront - everything is in their place, everything is supposed to be there, even if they are eccentric when looked at all together. most women, ages 17-50 roughly, can agree that there is something they love in anthro. either the candles and their intoxicating scents, or the accessories, the quirky home goods, the glorious sale room, the flirty skirts, the ruffles...i could ramble for hours. the belts! i almost forgot the belt selection...

i wish my brain looked like anthro. charming, witty, sometimes definitely weird but loved just the same. warm, colorful, everything folded into its place. its not true. my thoughts are messy, some of them don't belong with who i'm trying to be and what i'm chasing after. my thoughts are sometimes too weird, or not at all charming, and my brain is not ready for a magazine photo shoot. (obviously, you say.)

somedays i'm grumpy, or confused, other days i'm dancing and their isn't any music playing. (and i'm pretty sure there is only dancing allowed in anthro if the music is on and the manager has previously approved it.)

maybe life/thoughts are not supposed to be like store displays and planned atmospheres. Maybe the messiness and chaos and unassigned flow of thoughts are more beautiful because they are just that: unplanned. real. three dimensional.

as much as i wish my life, my thoughts, my day to day, looked more like a photograph you could get lost in, maybe that would be boring. how would we appreciate our times in anthro or in moments such as these pictures if that was typical? if that was everyday? maybe i should embrace my quirky, mushy, messy brain and its chaotic moments. maybe we all should. in the meantime, i'll appreciate these photos stolen from other blogs.