head out on the highway...looking for adventure

I want to sit in quiet solitude and listen to the Blackfoot river trickle past. I want to laugh with my mom until my face hurts while wandering the streets of Santa Fe and sipping sangria. I want to watch the sunrise in Montana, and set in Yellowstone.

I want to plunge into a swimming hole, and hike til my feet hurt so much they feel as if they’ll fall off, I want to explore and read books for hours and take long naps. I want to see the mystery/alien lights in Marfa, and see the Great Salt Lake and watch a moose and a bear and a wolf (from a safe distance.)

I want to remember why we’re on this planet and escape the stress and fast paced chaos of the real word. I want to cruise through Wyoming with the windows down, music blaring, wind in our hair with the fabulous Renza Sharpe. I want to make a complete fool of myself whilst fly-fishing.

I want, I want, I want. It’s going to be a selfish three weeks, to be certain. But I’m okay with that. I think sometimes we need to be a bit selfish to be more prepared to live life self-lessly. Perhaps that’s a cop out, but this past year has definitely been a journey of sacrifice and sleep deprivation, and I’m ready for a reprieve. (And certainly thankful that this is even possible. I know some people don’t get five week vacations, or they spend those weeks earning extra money instead of spending what they’ve saved.)

The past ten months have been a lot about doing “whatever it takes” to serve 38 preschool students growing up in poverty. Occasionally that meant skipping happy hours, dinner gathering with friends, travels to visit other friends, wedding showers, movie nights, and bike rides. It meant late nights working and early morning alarm clocks that I tried not to smash to smithereens. It meant books that sat stacked in the corner of my room, waiting to be read but never having the time. We all, whether you’re in Teach for America or not, in a non-profit or a Wall Street firm, sacrifice a lot for our jobs. But this past year has been insane – and it hasn’t been about building my resume or finding a nice paycheck in my bank account. It has been about changing the education system in America, and being one tiny piece in a giant pie.

The way I see it is this: the education reform currently sweeping our country is like an apple pie. I am one tiny grain of cinnamon in a tiny teaspoon, miniscule but part of something much bigger. I am not something that would be missed if I was not here, however – collectively, my work is important. Because I’m pretty sure that apple pie tastes very different if you forget to add cinnamon.

Anyways, it’s going to be a crazy, wild, glorious three weeks. I know at times it will be lonely but I’m ready for that, eager for it even. I have a new journal, empty and waiting for me to fill its pages with the nonsense bouncing around in my brain. I have a heart thirsting for more grace – hence the bible in my backpack and the scripture I’ve written on some index cards. I’m excited to spend time with my parents, time with myself, and time with Renza. I’ll miss my brother and Katherine McClellan… but I’m sure I’ll get over it.

It’s really happening. Montana. I always said “one day” and now, at the end of this week, I’ll arrive. I’ll find myself on the same old streets Norman Maclean used to walk, and stand on the riverbanks where they filmed “A River Runs Through It.”

Montana, here I come. Getting there will be half the adventure – first stop, Marfa, Texas. My mom and I depart tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. and arrive in West Texas by nightfall.
I’ll be back soon, with a detailed report about the “lights” and if I saw James Dean’s ghost in our hotel.

Happy Summer! Til next time,
Courtney