Dealing with Difficult People: Part Two

Hello, sweet readers! 

In the last post, I shared notes from a bible study I attended led by Pam Thompson - dealing with difficult people. I shared her notes on identifying "very tricky people" in our own lives and also some examples from the scriptures. Today, Pam answers the question "What in the WORLD do I do about this person in my life, this person that is so difficult and exhausting and often impossible to deal with!?" 

Responses to Very Tricky People: 

A) Admit it. Acknowledge who are your tricky people. (We usually have 1-4. If you can list 12, or 18, you might want to think about yourself as the tricky person. :) )

B) Distance yourself. Especially if it is not a relative who you need to see on a regular basis. If you have truly tried with this person to work things out, and they're "stealing your joy" it may be time to breakaway. In Genesis 13, God gives us a biblical example - Abram and Lot split up. They part ways because of bickering between their people. Life is too short - sometimes, Pam says, distance is a good thing. 

C) People Related to You Who Are Tricky

If your tricky person is related to you - your mother, your sister, your father-in-law, etc - you cannot quite apply the same tactics as if they're not a relative. You're going to see this person at Thanksgiving, birthdays, etc. So there are some different ways to approach the relationship with that person when you cannot just put distance. 

1) Do not place your hope in thinking they will miraculously change. The enemy has a pattern to rob you of your joy. When that difficult person does the same thing they always do, and you spend time being shocked or surprised by it - that is on you. 

2) Realize your person has encountered much pain and perceive them as handicapped. (IE, cannot have the same expectations of them as you of others.) 

3) Acceptance vs Resignation. Step back so the Lord can work. (IE the prodigal son, the father had to let go for awhile before things were resolved.) 

4) Speak the truth in love. (Resist anger, bitterness, etc.) 

5) Maintain boundaries. Only let the Lord have your heart. 

6) Pray. Pray for that person, for the relationship, etc. 

Psalm 86:11 "Give me an undivided heart, Lord." 

Releasing Intense Emotions

Dealing with people who are truly difficult (selfish, manipulative, immature, characteristics previously discussed) can be emotionally draining. Here's how to prevent that...

A) Dump it on the Lord. He is bigger than this situation, he can carry your burden, he's got this. 

B) Go read the Psalms. This will soften your heart. Psalm 55:17, Psalm 55:22-23, Psalm 55:1-3 - Say, Lord, I do not want this to be my story. I want to get past it. 

C) If this continues, talk to a third person about negative emotions, seek wise counsel. 

D) God uses frustrating people and events in our lives to help us grow. 

E) No offense by another person can equal our guilt before the Lord. Because of his bloodshed, we are forgiven for being very tricky people ourselves. 

2 Tim 4:14 - "I am going to let the Lord deal with that! Be on guard. I'm forgiving him/her, but I'm going to keep boundaries."

Hopefully this has helped you as it's helped me! Thank you, Pam, for your teaching!