great is thy faithfulness

“If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.” 2 Tim 2:13

“Therefore I have hope, because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness!” Lamentations 3:22,23

Ash Wednesday is probably my favorite church service of the entire year. I know, that’s weird to say, and I do love Christmas Eve with my family, but for me, Ash Wednesday services have always been the marking that my faith is my own – not just of my parents. Not something I inherited or feel obligated to commit to, but something that is wholly my own. My faith would be so different if not for my family and the love of several high school “mentors” whom I would rather call friends.

But the first time I went to an Ash Wednesday service in college I realized that my faith had really become my own – that in a different city, when friends were busy and had night classes or whatever, I was still willing to be the awkard girl alone at a church service. I remember feeling not proud of myself for being there but humbled. Humbled that I knew it was God, the Holy Spirit, however you want to refer to it, which had led me there. Not my own good heart, not my own… anything. I had simply felt the urge to attend this service, and went.

Ash Wednesday has continued to mark my devotion to Christianity as a young adult, struggling to live a life of faith, action, and love. I attended the next year in D.C. – a church I had never attended before but was on Capitol Hill and I figured would be easy to find after work. I’m so glad I went – I can still remember the pastor's face and some of the things she said, three years later.

The following year I was in Paris with Renza Sharpe and we attended a service at an American church near the river there. It was so cool to be overseas, outside of the Bible belt, and still seeking the knowledge and truth of Christ. I remember feeling immensely blessed to have such a great friend like Renz, and the chance to be … in Paris! Neither did I deserve.

Last year, I was back in Houston. I don’t remember where my family members were at the time, but I attended the service at Chapelwood where I grew up solo. It was just like the other Ash Wednesdays I had attended, and yet so different. It was renewing, uneventful, simple, and quite the call to action. A reminder to live my life differently than the world calls us to live.

Last spring was really, really hard. I was struggling daily with my Teach for America commitment, my mom was preparing to have surgery for cancer soon, and life was a bit…unsettled. I knew though, sitting alone in that pew, that God has taken care of me every step of the way, and if I keep my heart open, my mind trusting, I know he will continue to bless me in ways beyond my imagination. And I have a wild imagination!

For me, Ash Wednesday over the past several years, has marked how different my life has been, just as many of my readers I’m sure. But through all of our moves to new cities, the graduation from college (or for some readers, the raising of children and watching them graduate from college) there is the constant, the rock. Someone we can throw questions and anger and joy and worship at… and he remains. constant. I love that Ash Wednesday isn't about gifts or dressing up on Christmas Eve or anything other than fixing our eyes on the cross.

Thanks for reading, and happy Lenten Season!

“A believer in Jesus finds enough in his Lord to satisfy him now and forever more. Place him in a dungeon and he will find fellowship; place him in a barren wilderness and he will “eat the bread of Heaven.” Strap the source of his earthly hopes and his heart will remain fixed, trusting in the Lord.” Charles Spurgeon