back to school...yet not for me

Today, August 15, 2011, is the first day back of the new school year at SHINE. A place whose hallways I have memorized and whose mission will forever be written on my heart: quality education for all children, regardless of skin color or zip code. It is not an exaggeration to say that some of the very best days of my life, and some of the very worst, were spent there over the past two years. It feels quite strange and sad to not find myself there today, greeting faces and getting hugs and generally stressed about having everything ready to go for the day: lessons, copies, materials, emails. Yet I know I am moving on to the next part of life, and that my two years at SHINE taught me so, so much. I left with a passion for ensuring all children have the kind of education they deserve: the kind of education the kids at KIPP schools are getting right this very minute on this hot August Monday morning.

As my thoughts drift back to my thirty-eight three year olds who are officially kindergartners today, my stomach churns with emotion. I think of my student, my beaten up & bruised baby, who was thriving last time I saw him, big eyes lit up to tell me of the latest happenings in his class. To tell me he remembers me and give me a big hug. I think of the lows we went through together our first year, him throwing up from being so upset over what I still do not know, the way his eyes seemed haunted as he ran away from me and everyone else in the cafeteria day after day. I think of the times he hit others or stabbed himself with a pencil, or the days he crawled into my lap, put my hands over his, and rocked back and forth. I think of the days he tried to teach a friend their numbers, because he already knew his. I think of the days he danced with delight on our carpet. I think of the many times he tried to run from the classroom, from the building, from love, and I was forced to restrain him, my legs over his little, very strong ones until he finally gave in and was no longer a threat to his own safety.

There were so many happy moments over that year, so many laugh out loud, kind, simple things that flow from toddlers mouths. From the mouths of babes, as they say. It made the painful, confusing days of struggle brighter. My students’ excitement for learning, for each other, for the world around them, made my year worth it.
Here are a few quotes to get your Monday going, too:

Ms. Robinson: "Why are you eating crayons? Why?"
Student: "Oh." Blue crayon in student’s teeth and chin as he says: "I should only eat fooood???"
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Ms. Rob: “D, you must take a time out. You just hit your friend in the face. You will take a three minute time out.”
D: “YOU ARE NOT COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY! YOU ARE NOT COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY! WE ARE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE!!!”
Note: This was in December. D’s birthday is in May.
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One day during dismissal one of the students' parents was very late to pick him up, so I moved the fish bowl to the center of one of our class tables. We sat and watched “Carrietta” together. Very entertaining to watch a fish swim around if you're three years old. The student looked up at me after a few minutes and wanted to know: "So, Ms. Robinson, where did you put the batteries in the fish?"
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An excellent student who never, ever breaks rules or causes trouble, or does things such as run around in the cafeteria, jumped from her seat and started sprinting to the other side of the table.
"Why are you out of your seat, Alice*? You should be eating your lunch."
Alice wraps her arms around me. "I just want to give you a hug, Ms. Robinson!!"