deep breaths

They say life is not the big moments, but the small ones. I used to think that quote was silly: milestone birthdays, graduations, weddings: aren’t the big moments the ones that lead us to the small ones? Is it not the big days, the big events, the white dress and the graduation gown and the final job interviews, that determine the little ones? Of this, I’m not so sure anymore.



My thinking about a lot of things (at the risk of sounding dramatic, I’ll say everything) has been shifted during my time in Teach for America. The days following June 3rd, my last day as a “corps member” have allowed reflection on just how much I’ve changed, grown up, become more appreciative of the world around me, and been given clearer eyes to see harsh realities.



My two years as a teacher in a community struggling to overcome poverty radically changed my day to to day life. I will not bore you with the details but I will say this: it was absolutely the small, everyday, at times monotonous moments that led us to the huge ones.





It was the daily review of colors and their names that finally helped my very quiet, non-English speaking three year old successfully be able to recognize all ten colors in English, which is a kindergarten objective in the state of Texas. It was the daily struggle to teach basic reading skills that moved my class to very high scores on high-stakes state test day. In fact, more than half of my students scored “commended” on our state reading test. The daily practice though, made the moment of achievement possible.





My two years and my student’s success was very much about getting out of bed every morning and putting one foot in front of the other: small moments. Which led to huge ones.



I have been given a gift this summer: paychecks until early August and no job responsibilities in June or July. In this space of deep breaths and late nights and sunsets and sunrises and travel, I have discovered that I was wrong about that quote. The small moments are probably more important than the big ones. A weekend in Salt Lake City with three hilarious girls was one of the best I’ve had maybe… ever. It did not have any extravagant events or anything particular that happened: it was just friends gathered together. And sure, we hiked and went tubing and packed our schedule full of adventure, but really, it was a lot of small moments that made it such a delight. Making mojittos in Katherine’s backyard with her fresh-grown mint: a small moment, but one that I’ll likely remember for the next several decades.






Simplicity cannot be overrated, in my opinion. That feels strange, coming from someone as loud and fast-talking and silly as myself, but it’s true. What has made this such an enjoyable, over-the-top happy summer? The simple things. Floating in the lake with a friend from Oklahoma, talking about nothing and everything, or dancing on our living room table as the ipod blares in the background: simple moments. But it is in those moments I feel most blessed by her friendship.





Coffee with Jen Jenkins in Houston. Meeting Marnita for an adult beverage to talk school and catch up. Grown up lunches with Crossley, a week hiking in Colorado with little advance planning, visits to my great-grandparents house in Dallas. Sitting on the boat dock, staring at the Texas summer night sky. Swimming with eight-year-olds in a friend’s backyard pool. Bike rides to nowhere, or to grab a margarita with my Dad. This summer has been packed full of small moments that add up to a giant pile of smiles, friends, celebrations, reflections, melancholy moments, and life lived to the fullest.

Thanks for reading, being a part of my small moments even if you weren’t mentioned, and being a friend. Wishing you dozens of happy tiny moments that you lead you to the big things.
Much love, Courtney